The First Time Mum – For Mums and Mums to be

Every day is a school day

17/07/2025

Sorry folks but I’m going back to the feeding topic… this really is such a big part of having a baby and seems never ending. And the things you continue to learn about yourself, and your baby is also never ending.

We are very fortunate to have a good sleeping and content baby. No idea how it happened, but it has. The main thing that hasn’t gone quite to plan, however, is the breastfeeding. But it turns out, that is also normal. The pumping has worked so well for me and I’m pretty proud of myself to be still pumping for over three months. Although pumping obviously still comes with its challenges.

I have a cupboard full of bottles, teats, storage containers, sanitising gear; you name it, this cupboard would probably take you to Narnia if you tried hard enough. Although I probably should mention that the cupboard is for everything drink related, for Peggy and the adults. So, the whole bottom half is full of alcohol… you never know when you might need it!

This past week Peggy has been unusually grizzly. Initially we put it down to her not feeling too great after her jabs. But then last night we started asking ourselves, what has changed in the last week to 10 days? Why do I have so much spare milk in the fridge? Why is she pooing less? Why is she suddenly screaming the house down when we put her to bed? Turns out, there was a very simple answer to this.

When we left the Oamaru maternity ward, we took home a heap of spare bottles and teats. These teats are supposedly single use. But at the time we had nothing else, and she drank fine from them, so we continued to use them. At around 6 weeks old we tried to transition her on to new bottles and teats. These were Philip Advent. We tried slow and medium flow, but both failed. Even with the pace feeding she would be so sick from the medium flow and with the slow flow she would just stop sucking and then scream if you took the bottle away. This is exactly what she did on the boob. So, we reverted back to the original teats.

A few weeks later we tried some slow and medium flow Medela teats. Exactly the same issue. Again, we reverted back to the originals. I managed to get some more of these from the maternity ward, but I was told these were really only for newborns. Again, who knew? Who knew that there are all these different flow rates? Who knew that there are all these different shapes and sizes? Who knew that the teats are meant to change as your baby gets older? I certainly didn’t!

A midwife suggested I try Dr Brown’s bottles. I bought one to try last week and it seemed to go well. So, we bought a few more and here we are over a week down the line with these.

But last night we had an epiphany. All these changes in her behaviour coincided with the change to new bottles. The reason for all the spare milk, all the tantrums – she was hungry. We switched from the Dr Brown bottle back to the original hospital teats mid feed last night and it was like I had starved her. She drank the whole bottle within minutes. She then proceeded to sleep right through the night again.

Today I am again feeding her through these original teats, and I am so happy to have my normal happy Peggy back. Why had I not noticed this sooner? We still probably need to find a solution for a long-term teat, but for now I am just happy to have my smiley, bubbly baby back.

So, every day is a school day. No one told me any of this. I had to learn it for myself. And it turns out this is quite a common theme with babies. You don’t know what you don’t know, and everyone is so different.

Also, a big shout out to The Milk Room in Oamaru. This is a free service available to mums to help with anything feeding related. A quick message to them on Facebook and they’ve helped me so much with advice for sore boobs and now with bottles. They are available to see in person in the Plunket rooms in Oamaru every second Tuesday. www.facebook.com/themilkroomnorthotago
Three months in

10/07/2025

Where has the time gone?! Days turn into weeks which turn into months. Peggy is just over three months today and she had her second jabs yesterday. It seems that these certainly hurt a bit more than the first time around! During her first jabs at six weeks, I had my aunty here from the UK and this time Hayden was with me. I am so glad to have some company, it is not nice seeing your daughter scream to the rooftops. Red face and tears streaming. What a thing to watch! But she’s a little trooper and had forgotten all about it after a few sips of milk. She’s also now weighing in at 12.8lbs. Piggy Peggy.

The nurse then did my routine smear test. What a morning this was turning into be! I may have just pushed a child out, but your smear tests certainly don’t get any better, I’m sorry to say.

Peggy has now hit a few milestones which has been very exciting to see. You hear from other people what their children have been up to, but no one really tells you what to expect. I’ve been trying to keep track of each time we notice a change and a progression in her behavior and there has certainly been a lot recently.

When Peggy was first born she pretty much just ate, pooed and slept. Moving into the second week, the poo’s came thick and fast! She began to become more awake and it was noticable how much she would focus on things now. She abosolutely loved flashing lights. I great way to keep her occupied for a few minutes! Moving into two months, Peggy could hold her head up, even with the chubbiest cheeks you have ever seen. Her hands become her second most favourite thing after the flashing lights. They are forever in her mouth which although keeps her quiet, creates a lot more washing from all the dribble.

At three months old, she is extremely chatty. Hayden and I find ourselves ooing and ahhing to her constantly. We are becoming quite proficient at baby language! She can’t yet roll over, but we spend most evenings with her on the floor helping her to learn. The most recent addition to her skills list, is grabbing hold of things. Although she just hasn’t quite worked out how to let go yet.

Last week we moved her from the co-sleeper next to our bed, to a cot in her own room. She seems to love it; we are now quite a few days into her sleeping through the night – 10pm through to 8.30am yesterday! How lucky are we?! Although, my boobs don’t quite agree. Every baby is obviously different though, so for those mums out there with babies not sleeping through the night – it will come, promise.

We’ve ended the day with a lovely walk down the beach with the three dogs. Such a great way to end the day with some sea air.
At Peggy’s Pace

02/07/2025

Hayden has told me I’ve come back down to earth. So now I feel like writing about something different, other than feeling like I’m on planet Mars.

I’ve already touched on where the milk comes from but now wanted to talk about how I get that white stuff into Peggy without her spewing it up, after all it is very precious stuff!

When I started pumping and feeding through a bottle, my midwife spoke to me about pace feeding. I had always thought that feeding through a bottle was just a case of in the mouth and tip up, hey presto. And yes, of course they will drink, but most of it will just come straight back up. Peggy has certainly inherited dads fast drinking skills and feeding her like this would just make her chuck it all back up again. This is where the pace feeding comes in.

My midwife told me how to keep the bottle horizontal, so only half of the teat is filled with milk. This way she will have to work a little harder for a drink, rather than it going straight down. I guess this is also trying to mimic feeding from the breast. When she was really young, she would try to drink so fast that we had to slow her down with a mixture of pace feeding with the bottle horizontal and then tipping the bottle back down, so she wasn’t getting any milk at all, give her a break and go again. Now she is older, she doesn’t get in such a panic that we are starving her! And so, the bottle is horizontal in her mouth throughout the feed. With the bottle horizontal, it also means she can easily turn her head away when she has had enough or wants a break.

When the midwife first showed us this pace feeding technique, we questioned how much air she would be taking in from the bottle. Being farmers, I think we’ve got it drilled into us to make sure lambs don’t take in air when bottle feeding… but turns out Peggy is a human, not a lamb and she’s quite happy with a bit of air.

By feeding Peggy through the bottle, she can drink a lot more in a shorter space of time than she could from the boob. So, I generally try and burp her every 50mls or so. She’s a good pooer and burper which also makes life a little easier!

I’ve always found it quite hard to watch other people feed her. Feeding through a bottle gives you the luxury of anyone being able to feed, but exactly like we were at the start, everyone will generally give her the bottle and tip it straight up. She will handle this much better now she is older, but I find myself worrying like hell but trying to look very calm and collected!

Monday was also a big day for Peggy… she had her first night in her own room. She slept as she usually sleeps with a 3am/4am wake up, so I’ll take that as win. She is growing so fast and now at three months, we are already onto another phase of her life. Crazy how time flies when you’re having fun!
Going Doolally

29/06/2025

Cabin fever is a real thing.

On Friday we had a normal day of Peggy drinking, sleeping, pooing and play time. She is awake most of the day so keeping her entertained is now a full-time job. Luckily, she is quite easily entertained, mostly by flashing lights and some music. But really it depends on the day. Depends on whether she’s having one of those days!

Friday night we went to the local pub for dinner. It was delicious as always! Peggy loves the pub already, which is slightly dangerous, but I guess like father like daughter. After a few pints of Speights and a nice social evening out of the house, she decided to sleep all through the night; from 10pm to 6am. WOW, now that was great. I still woke up at 3am to pump but luckily that is just a quick 10-minute job. False sense of security incoming…

Hayden is away for the weekend for a friend’s birthday and the cabin fever is setting in. I honestly feel like I’m going a bit crazy sometimes. I had a cry just because she was being sick, which is a very common occurrence. I am very grateful for the friends who came to visit Saturday and today. Thanks for keeping me sane.

And last night… well, no, she didn’t sleep right through. We had two wake ups in the night. So, the moral of that story is, don’t get too excited when something like sleeping through the night happens, because chances are it won’t happen the next day.

Peggy currently has her eyes shut for a few minutes so I thought I would write this, to let some of my hormonal insanity out!

To all you friends and family out there keeping mums sane, thank you. Thank you for the chats and the cups of tea. Thanks for stopping me from going completely doolally!
Peggy goes to Plunket

25/06/2025

Today, Peggy had her next Plunket appointment. For those of you not in NZ, I would describe Plunket as being almost like a district nurse but solely focused on children. It is such a great organisation and something all mums in NZ are extremely lucky to have.

Going back right to the start, I had my first appointment with the Dr on a Teams call. How very 21st century. He sent me for a blood test to confirm my pregnancy and that was the last time I saw a Dr until Peggy had her first set of jabs at six weeks old. In NZ it is up to you to choose your midwife. Who knew?! I only knew because of friends and family. They can be found through the following website: Home | Find Your Midwife What is it like where you live?

The Oamaru maternity unit was amazing. They have a primary care unit with two birthing rooms, but being a rural unit, if there are any complications during the birth you usually get helicoptered down to Dunedin Hospital. And this is why I chose to have my first child there, in Dunedin. As we only just made it through the hospital doors though, after an hour’s drive with consistent three-minute contractions, I think the next one will have to find somewhere closer to come out!

After giving birth, my midwife visited our home every other day from day seven. Then every other week until she was six weeks old. Following this a Plunket nurse came to visit and then I visit her in the community hall once a month until she is four months, then every other month until she is a year old and then each year until she goes to school which will be around four years old.

And the best part about all of this is… it’s free! All my scans, appointments, prescriptions, Peggy’s hip scan, jabs and a 24/7 hotline. How amazing is that!

At our Plunket appointment today, Peggy got weighed and we measured her height and circumference of her head. She is doing well with extremely large feet and long legs! We also chatted about how I was, how pumping was going, weaning, local baby classes and when to move Peggy into a separate room at night. Natasha, the Plunket nurse, booked me in for a weaning class in Oamaru when she is four months old (also free!) and has sent me a list of classes to take Peggy to (also free!)

So today was a good day. Peggy is now on her third outfit after three massive poo’s and sat under a light projecting fishes onto the walls and ceiling – we like to call this the silent disco. And she loves it!
In the milking parlour

23/06/2025

The white stuff. Liquid gold. The pressure we put on ourselves to make sure our baby is fed on breastmilk is crazy. I suppose we are all different so not everyone may feel this pressure, but now Peggy has been on breastmilk for nearly three months, I am feeling the pressure more than ever.

She was born relatively small at 6lbs 4oz, but I am pleased she wasn’t any bigger! However, I do think that her size may have had something to do with her not latching properly. Her small mouth just wasn’t quite big enough (I will leave the rest to your imagination!) As soon as she was born she was put straight on the boob and me not knowing what to expect, just thought the pain was normal. Well girls, it’s not! I fed her all that night and the following day like this, wincing each time. Move forward a few days and after amazing help from the midwives and lactation consultant in Oamaru we moved to pumping.

Low and behold, with a full belly, we now had a very content baby fed on the bottle.

I started off chained to the machine, plugged into the wall. Going out for the day was a struggle; I had to find somewhere to stop with a power socket. So, I thought I would try an in-bra pump and see how this went. Would I get enough milk off? Would the battery last long enough? Would it fit properly? Of all the things I have spent my money on, this was by far one of the best purchases. I wouldn’t quite say it changed my life; that’s a bit dramatic and cliche! But it almost did. I could now pump and feed her easily at the same time, pump on the go, not worry about how long I would be away from home, not worrying about where I would find a socket. It really was a game changer. My milk supply wasn’t affected either, still producing about 1L a day. And so here I am to this day, still pumping and feeding Peggy breastmilk through a bottle.

There are pros and cons to most things and so there is too with pumping. The pros would be that feeding through a bottle means that anyone can feed her. I can leave her with Hayden for the day and not have to worry about how she’s getting fed. It also means she can drink a relatively big amount in a short space of time. I really think this has also helped with her sleeping. She has always been a good sleeper, like her parents, and I believe most of this is down to her being able to drink 150mls within half an hour which will fill her up to the eyeballs and send her nicely to sleep for five to six hours.

The cons – all the stuff! Bottles, pumps, teats, sterilisers, you name it. It definitely requires a list when going away, the baby brain does not stop once you’ve given birth sadly!

As with most things, unfortunately, it isn’t quite as plain sailing as I’d like it to be. Now she is awake most of the day, she is feeding most of the day and so on some occasions she is drinking me dry! On the days where this happens I have felt considerably down in the dumps. Today is one of those days. It’s a feeling of sadness and disappointment in myself. I should be able to feed by own child shouldn’t I?

Bloody hormones!

But do you know what? One feed of formula is not going to hurt her. Nor will a few days, or weeks or months. Lots of children are fed solely on formula and they have, funnily enough, all turned out fine! So now I am trying to turn that feeling of disappointment upside down. I should be feeling proud that I have been able to feed Peggy on breastmilk. So many mums are sadly unable to do this.

So, this is for all the mums out there, trying to breastfeed. It is tough. No one warns you of how hard it actually is. We get taught about the birth, but, as painful as it is, it has nothing on feeding your baby.

You got this mum!
In The Beginning

19/06/2025

Like most stories I thought it best to start at the beginning. Or at least near the beginning.

I was extremely lucky the whole way through my pregnancy. Peggy was planned but crikey, there was no messing around. I was very fortunate that it didn’t take long at all to get pregnant and once she had decided to pop out, there was no stopping her. She was out within 47 minutes of walking through the hospital door!

I was looked after by amazing midwives in Oamaru, I really cannot thank them enough. However, everyone kept telling me that being my first child she would likely be overdue, and the birth would take a while. In reality this was not the case; she was 12 days early and came very quick!

No matter how many questions I asked, you really don’t know the right questions to ask because you have no idea what to expect. When do your waters break? How long does it take? How long after this does she come out? How will I know when to go to hospital? The questions are endless. Unfortunately, though, everyone is different so there is no one answer.

Leading up to the birth there is lots of chat around the birth itself, not a lot about what happens after. The one question I was asked though was – “Would you like to breastfeed?”. My answer was yes. I have now learnt that sadly it is really not that simple. It is not as black and white as Yes or No. The response I would give now would be ‘”Yes, but what are the options if I can’t?”.

I spent two days and two nights in the Oamaru maternity unit. Here we spent hours trying to get Peggy to latch properly. I had help from a lactation consultant called Sarah. Initially I was worried that she would want Peggy to breastfeed, because that’s her job right? But she was the first person that asked me “Have you thought about pumping and feeding her through a bottle?”. I will be forever grateful for her. If we hadn’t have gone down this route, I think I would have completely given up and Peggy would be on formula. Which also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with, I must add!

So here we have it. The beginning. What I have learnt most and what I would love everyone to know is that no matter what friends, family, midwives, Drs or your Instagram feed tells you, you do you. Even now when I’m feeding Peggy through a bottle, I feel like I have to justify why to people and always end up saying “Oh she didn’t like the boob, so she’s still drinking my milk, but through a bottle”. Why do I do this?! We are so bad at judging each other but there really is no right or wrong answer.
Here we go!

19/06/2025

Hi folks, first I better start off with some introductions… I’m Harriet. AKA, Harriet the Pom or Red Shaver. I live with my partner Hayden and now our daughter Peggy. Not forgetting three dogs – Basil Winston and Skye, two horses – Larry and Toby and usually a few thousand layer hens.

I moved over from the UK nearly three years ago now. My love for NZ began back in 2014 when I lived and worked in a small place called Piopio in the King Country for some great friends on their sheep and beef farm – Rotomate. Although I was brought up on a dairy farm, life and work randomly lead me to pursue a career in poultry and predominantly laying hens. Before moving to NZ I worked for a feed mill (Crediton Milling) travelling around poultry farms advising farmers on how to get the best out of their flock; whether this be through feeding, lighting, general management, you name it. I loved this job! However, I had this irrational fear of being single and 30 and so at the ripe old age of 28 I managed to find a job in Otago and shipped my whole life to the other side of the world.

And what a decision that was. One of the best decisions I have ever made. Yes, it is hard leaving family and friends and I miss them all very much. But thankfully we have the power of technology and aeroplanes! I met Hayden through work; I was his boss at the time. Couldn’t write it. Now, nearly three years later, we have bought a house and have a ten week old daughter called Peggy. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and it really does!

So here I am, sat trying to juggle a crying baby, dirty nappies, producing milk and keeping the house clean. No one really can prepare you for what having a child is really like, but I also wouldn’t change it for the world.

I have to warn you that I have never read a blog, let alone written one, so this all could get very interesting. But the inspiration for this blog started when driving round NZ visiting friends and family and getting overly excited when finding a place to stop that had a change table in the disabled toilets. Never did I think this would become one of the most helpful things in life. I therefore wanted to try and help mums in the same position and point them in the right direction as to the best places to change your baby when on the move. And then I thought, well why only stop with that, why not go all out and write a blog about my journey with Peggy. So here we are…. I hope you enjoy!